The absurd adventures of two defective detectives, who - despite unbelievable incompetence - somehow manage to solve their cases (or be nearby when the cases are solved) and retain their jobs.
Main Cast of The Detectives
Secondary Cast of The Detectives
Jon Cartwright
as The Earl of Lisson (1 episode)
Adam Maxwell
as Police Officer (1 episode)
Laura Beckford
as Receptionist (1 episode)
Candida Rundle
as Chambermaid (1 episode)
Peter Geeves
as Chef (1 episode)
Nick Ball
as Barman (1 episode)
Paul Williamson
as Sir Lionel Case (1 episode)
Michael Melia
as Brian (1 episode)
Norman Lumsden
as Old Man (1 episode)
Stuart Fox
as Plain Clothes Officer (1 episode)
Nick Maloney
as Psychiatrist (1 episode)
Michael Godley
as Club Steward (1 episode)
Tony Jacklin
as Himself (1 episode)
Ruth Hudson
as Jane (1 episode)
Clive Darby
as Assistant Director (1 episode)
Alan Bodenham
as Big Bird (1 episode)
Jimmy Batten
as Gangster (1 episode)
John Dair
as Masseur (1 episode)
James Ottaway
as Old Gentleman (1 episode)
Larry Martyn
as Stable Hand (1 episode)
Alex Knight
as Scottish Gangster (1 episode)
Jeremy Fowlds
as Young man 1 (1 episode)
Roger James Sewell
as Young man 2 (1 episode)
Phil Atkinson
as Egghead Evans (1 episode)
Henry Naylor
as Police Driver (1 episode)
Pete Pastore
as Briefing Sgt (1 episode)
Ben Lobb
as Copper 2 (1 episode)
David J. Nicholls
as P.C. Terry (1 episode)
Michael Redfern
as Copper (1 episode)
Fairmang Singhateh
as Copper 3 (1 episode)
Andrew Barclay
as Jimmy (1 episode)
Geoff Lawson
as 'Bodger' Riley (1 episode)
Roland Oliver
as Harry The Editor (1 episode)
Tony Soper
as Badger Watch Commentator (1 episode)
Ralph Van Dijk
as Dutch Sergeant (1 episode)
Maya Woolfe
as Secretary (1 episode)
Gabe Cronnelly
as Sparring Partner (1 episode)
Eric Mason
as Shorty (1 episode)
Gary Mason
as Spitting Boxer (1 episode)
Nicholas Monu
as Danny Hendry (1 episode)
Stan Nelson
as Rioter (1 episode)
Leonard Trusty
as Barry 'The Bull' Kincade (1 episode)
Kristy Bruce
as Olivia (2 episodes)
Louisa Rix
as Mrs. Sharpe (1 episode)
Leo Dolan
as Frightened Man (1 episode)
John Melainey
as Restaurant Manager (1 episode)
Madeleine Newton
as 1st Blind Date Woman (1 episode)
Ben Lemel
as Performance Artist (1 episode)
James Sinclair Wallace
as Haydn Smailes (1 episode)
Vernon Nurse
as Hughie (1 episode)
Amanda Richardson
as Barmaid (1 episode)
Ron Li-Paz
as James Mitchell (1 episode)
Eric Nordell
as Defence Laywer (1 episode)
Alan Beckworth
as Derek (1 episode)
Chrissie Richards
as Sarah Reid (1 episode)
Yvonne Edgell
as Woman in flats (1 episode)
Stewart Harwood
as Big Bloke (1 episode)
David Vine
as Skating Commentator (1 episode)
Jason Hall
as Ronnie (1 episode) , Policeman in Briefing (1 episode)
Nora Taylor
as Ronnie's Woman (1 episode)
Samantha Golt
as Waitress (1 episode)
Jonathan Deverell
as Uniformed Officer (1 episode)
Christian Santos
as Jet Ski Owner (1 episode)
Anthony Hamblin
as Young Super (1 episode)
Jamie Leyser
as Young Ronnie (1 episode)
Max Digby
as Hopkins (1 episode) , D.C. Hopkins (1 episode)
Anthony Lewis
as First Boy (1 episode)
Simon Slater
as D.I. Simpson (1 episode) , D.C. Quirke (1 episode)
Toni Galacki
as Second Boy (1 episode)
Colin Spaull
as Train Guard (1 episode)
Eve Bland
as Joanne (1 episode)
Sarah Harris
as 2nd Schoolgirl (1 episode)
Jessica Marshall-Gardiner
as Tatiana (1 episode)
Jo Grant
as Jo Grant (1 episode)
Tamzie Duarte-Agyeman
as Claire (1 episode)
Suzi Pollock
as Sarah (1 episode)
Anthony Jackson
as First copper (1 episode)
Jeremy Turner-Welch
as Third copper (1 episode)
Faith Flint
as Amanda (1 episode)
Edward Highmore
as Doctor (1 episode)
Tony Mathews
as Commander Boyle (1 episode)
Jonty Stephens
as D.C. Randall (1 episode)
Richard Karlsson
as Policeman at Court (1 episode)
Chris Armstrong
as Security Guard (1 episode)
Sandy Hendrickse
as Emily Cottam (1 episode)
Midge Taylor
as Landlord (1 episode)
Dicken Ashworth
as Derek (1 episode) , Landlord (2 episodes)
Gracy Goldman
as Fiona (2 episodes)
Jason Griffiths
as Edwards (1 episode)
Joanne Good
as Sister Watts (1 episode)
Martyn Whitby
as Gilroy (1 episode)
James Curran
as Surgeon (1 episode)
Tania Levey
as Nurse Smith (1 episode)
Olivia Nash
as Olivia (1 episode)
Peter Lovstrom
as Haydn Hunter (1 episode)
Gwenan Edwards
as TV Reporter (1 episode)
Martin Sadler
as Tom (1 episode)
Tat Whalley
as T-Leaf (1 episode)
Dean Gatiss
as Shop Assistant (1 episode)
Lyndam Gregory
as Tony (1 episode)
Martin Beaumont
as Antiques Customer (1 episode)
Brenda Cowling
as Bride's Grandmother (1 episode)
Claudette Barnard
as Bride's Mother (1 episode)
Ken McKay
as Photographer (1 episode)
Tony Sloman
as Guest At Bar (1 episode)
Catherine Carter
as Waitress (1 episode)
Malcolm McFee
as Roberts (1 episode)
Larry Dann
as Hawkeye (1 episode)
David Barber
as Big Saxon / Barman (1 episode)
Paula Hamilton
as Miss Red Button (1 episode)
John Duval
as Executive at Bank (1 episode)
Sean Patterson
as Police Officer (1 episode)
Oliver Young
as Uniformed Officer (1 episode)
James E. Kerr
as Russ Skinner (1 episode)
Darren Ruston
as Guest At Table (1 episode)
Lawrence Mullin
as Building Society Manager (1 episode)
John Kirk
as Groom (1 episode)
Crew of The Detectives
Discover the
backstage crew of The Detectives →